A Year of Miracles

"It's the year of miracles," my mother calls it. As 2012 comes to a close, I can't help but look back and evaluate what unfolded.

Miracles. 

2012 wasn't what I expected, but it's undeniable that God was performing miracles. 

I'm quite the impatient individual, so at times, I lose sight of the miracles happening around me.  Sometimes we tend to look at how far we are from our goals, and forget about how far we've come. We lose focus on the lessons learned during the journey, and tend to look at the stumbling along the way. 

Well as I look back and reflect, I'm seeing miracles. There's something humbling about the care and precision God took in planning my life. The numerous details that I would have overlooked, but He never forgot.

The first month of the year for me was a huge mess. A huge mess that God was working into His greatest miracle of the year. A huge mess that was pushing me toward the only Savior that could rescue me from the darkness I was in. In one day, He took a girl that was lost and lonely, and covered her in His grace. Forgiving her of a list of sins that would make anyone blush. 

Not only that, but He gave me an incredible church with great people to help me during all this change. I still stand in awe of how He orchestrated all of it with such ease. As fears surfaced, He had already put me at ease about them. The beauty in my move to Marshfield was something of awe also. I had an apartment within a few weeks of looking. I needed a job closer to town before winter time, I got one before September. I longed for my family to be closer, they were able to buy a house near me by October.  

He provided as scripture promises. 

So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.

Matthew 6:31-33

I was in two car accidents this year. The first was my fault. God even provided during that time with money to cover my large deductible. The second accident, a semi-tanker ran a stop sign during a snow storm. God was keeping me safe during the whole ordeal. It didn't turn out too bad, but looking at the scene I realized if I had hit just a few seconds sooner, it could have turned out horribly for me. 

Each miracle was the Lover of my soul serenading me. As He whispered reassurances into my ear, and led me along gently. There are times I wonder if I'm messing up everything. Then I remember that He will never let me get lost. As long as I pursue Him and continue to praise Him, He will never let me go down the wrong path. 

So as the year wraps up, I hope you look back and see the miracles. No matter the size, a miracle is a beautiful thing. 

Connecticut School Shooting And A Call To Prayer

I think it's only appropriate to take a moment in our busy lives to stop, think, and pray over the devastating calamity that occurred today.  The Connecticut school shooting is just another example of the corruption and evil that rages across the world. It is a clear cut example of the need for Christ in our lives. It's a gut-wrenching heartbreak knowing innocent children are the victims of the evil that occurred. I can't even fathom the amount of pain a person experiences at the loss of a child. My prayer is that God pours down His healing and love over this land as people are grieving. Also praying for the adults that were victims. The people who cared for these children as they provided education. 

My second prayer is for the family and friends of the shooter, Adam Lanza. Too often we forget the pain that they are feeling over their loss, and the burden they may feel knowing the victim. I pray that God turns this travesty into a time of healing and change in the hearts of people affected. 

Lastly, pray for the children and family's remaining that hold a new fear in their hearts. A place that most children view as safe has now been stained with memories of a terrifying day. Their innocent hearts have been assaulted by Satan with fear and despair. Our only hope lies in God's healing, everlasting love, and true sovereignty. 

I just want to leave you with a few verses that are reminders of the Lord's grace and love. 

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
Psalms 147:3

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.
Psalms 34:18

Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.
Psalms 55:22

One Big Fat Failure

When I came back to the Lord, I had grand and magnificent plans to speak out His truth with a boldness that couldn't be denied by any whom crossed my path. As time wore on, despair became a heavy burden on my heart. One of my greatest fears had risen up, and was beginning to overtake me... failure. As I evaluated my life over the last year, I was filled with sorrow thinking about how little of an affect I have had on anyone. Not only had I failed at something I had set my eyes on, but I surely failed God.  My boldness resembled a puppy yapping at a stranger walking down the street while tied to its post; very far from the lion I had envisioned. My feeble attempts had been fruitless, and just added to my list of failures.

Then one night, I picked up a book and read one chapter. Just one. The book was "When God Whispers Your Name," by Max Lucado. Lucado begins by painting for us a picture of John the Baptist, one of the great men God used. Then he paints a picture of Paul. Let me clarify, while reading I was visualizing these men, and the distressing lives they lived. All the while making a checklist of all the ways I have failed compared to them. I haven't been locked away in prison! I haven't eaten locust, been stoned, or been persecuted for my faith! Clearly I haven't stood up to my promise to preach the gospel of my Savior as I planned. 

Just before the despair swept over me completely, Lucado moves on to another story. This story starts with a blizzard. John Egglen, a normal man from England, trudged his way to church on this particular morning despite the weather. When he arrived, he discovered that a majority of the congregation had chose not to face the blizzard to get to church.  In fact, even the preacher had been snowed in. There were a mere 13 people present that morning.  With no one to preach, Egglen was left to step up to the plate because he was a deacon. He sputtered out a short and unimpressive sermon. Of the 13 people that were there, 12 were members and one was a visitor. That visitor was a thirteen-year-old boy. Just as Egglen was wrapping up his pitiful attempt at a sermon, he was struck with a courage, looked straight at that young boy and said, "Young man, look to Jesus. Look! Look! Look!" 

That young man grew up. That young man was Charles Spurgeon. As Spurgeon said, "I did look, and then and there the cloud on my heart lifted, the darkness rolled away, and at that moment I saw the sun." Egglen probably never knew the impact he made. Just as John and Paul probably never truly saw, or realized the impact of their words.  No one at those times in history had an inkling of the profoundness of the moment. 

Okay, so maybe I'm jumping to conclusions too quickly. Sure, my name hasn't been thrown across the front page of a newspaper proclaiming the great revolution I am leading. I haven't performed divine miracles in the name of Christ. But I have been living my life constantly seeking Christ. I have taken opportunities to tell others about my Savior, missed a few opportunities, and failed miserably during many. But as Lucado put it,

"But behind every avalanche is a snowflake, 

Behind a rock slide, is a pebble. 

An atomic explosion begins with one atom.

And a revival can begin with one sermon." 

This simple chapter gave me one realization. I may not ever realize the impact I have, or will have. I may even die with no indication that my life was of any importance. The moment that I will know, will only come when I stand before my Father in Heaven, and He says, "My child, well done."


Image Created By Emily Gibson
_________________________________________________________________________________

Here is a link to check out where you can get Max Lucado's "When God Whispers Your Name."

Addiction

Addiction.
It's scary. It can bring a sense of hopelessness, and hide the true hope that lies in Christ. It's when it becomes the thing we fall on our knees to, instead of Christ, that the real danger surfaces. It sneaks into our lives in the dark, and robs us of the joy promised to us. Soon that addiction spreads throughout the rest of our lives until it has infected each part with its poison.

Instead, clothe yourself with the presence of the Lord Jesus Christ. And don’t let yourself think about ways to indulge your evil desires.
Romans 13:14

The true beauty of our Savior is that no matter the type of addiction, or the amount it has taken over, we are promised freedom. Addictions have been one of my worst enemies for so long. There are many that I have overcome, but there are still many I struggle with each and every day. My biggest fears always lays in those initial moments of trying to pull away. The anxiety that would wash over me always seemed too much to bear.  An instant fear that I was too weak would overpower me.

Ah, weak. The world has twisted our view of weakness. We live in a world where every corner we turn we are told, "Find your inner strength!" Well, that isn't what God has told us. Although I'm sure Satan would love for me to fall for these beliefs because then it would be easy for him to take me down. I have two verses to turn to in these times.

Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10

As far as those fears and the anxiety I experience are concerned. 

Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:7

I certainly have always struggled with fear of failure. I want to share with you this clip from a sermon by Matt Chandler. In less than two minutes, he reminds us of how God wants us to keep pressing. No addiction in the world could possibly separate us from Him. Nothing. He loves us no matter what we struggle with. All He asks is we continue to seek Him.

As one last note, I'm praying for you. For those who read this and think, "that's me." I'm praying for you to realize that all you have to do is surrender it all to Him, our healer. Lastly, I'm praying that you realize how big His grace really is, and how much He loves you. 

Image Created By Emily Gibson

Take Me to the King

Image Created By Emily Gibson

Just think...

"Your lingering disbelief (may it be fading away) that anything important hangs on your life is only evidence of the long assault on your heart by the one who knows who you could be and fears you."
-Captivating by John & Stasi Eldredge (Page 205)

The instant I read this I broke down into prayer. Crying out to God asking that he replace those thoughts that I have let grow in my heart that were planted by the world's view of me. Simply wanting to refocus on his purpose for my life. Why is it so hard to read something like this without letting those deceitful thoughts destroy evidence of the truth? I'm as guilty as anyone when it comes to allowing truths to be pushed aside. God has spoken into my life in ways that are undeniable, but I continue to doubt the plan he has for me. There are certainly days where I am stronger than others, but that doesn't disregard the numerous days where I allow my heart to take a beating from the enemy's lies.

I am simply one girl.
I am too young.
I am too loud.
I am not graceful enough.
I am too talkative.
I am not strong enough.
I am too much of a mess.
I am not wise enough.
I have stumbled too many times.

To be honest, the list could possibly go forever. More importantly, I know each of those reasons are void in God's eyes. His plan to use me in his purpose conquers any excuse I can come up with. There is nothing I am too much of, or not enough of that could possibly make me the wrong candidate in his plan. He created me for this specific plan.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11

One of the biggest downfalls can be getting caught up in the idea that if only something in your life would change, then you could truly pursue your purpose. This ideology that if you lived somewhere else, had more money, or were a stronger person then you would be more successful at completing what God has planned. There is nothing he would plan for you that would be impossible for you to accomplish.  God is there every step of the way and will be by your side until his will has been accomplished. One of my favorite promises,

"In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." -Philippians 1:4-6

God won't leave your life unfinished. He is constantly molding you to be exactly as he planned.  Not only that, but he will do so until completion.

I have one last thing to share with you.  This is my favorite little piece of writing. It serves as a constant reminder that God's chose me for this life.  It's a reminder of his purpose for me and that I must continue to constantly pursue it.

"Just think... 
You're not here by chance, 
but by God's choosing.  
His hand formed you 
and made you the person you are.  
He compares you to no one else- 
you are one of a kind. 
You lack nothing that His grace can't give you. 
He has allowed you to be here 
at this time in history 
to fulfill His special purpose 
for this generation." 
-Roy Lessin

_________________________________________________________________________________

Here's a link to get your own copy of John & Stasi Eldredge's book Captivating. http://www.amazon.com/Captivating-Revised-Updated-Unveiling-Mystery/dp/1400200385/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1351901616&sr=8-1&keywords=captivating+john+eldredge

No Prayer Too Simple

Image Created by Emily Gibson

You Are My God

Image Created by Emily Gibson

Poetic Reassurance

There are times when a person can't allow themselves to worry about what other people think. God has put me here for a reason, one far bigger than any person could possibly fathom.  So don't be surprised if I don't care that people might think it's odd how I just appeared in this town. That's how God does it. He's not limited to our small minded logic or perspective. Trust me, there are plenty of times in my day where I question what the big plan is.  But the one thing I do know is God has it under control and I don't doubt for one minute that everything is just as it should be.

Our church's Bible Ed group for the "twenty-somethings" decided to continue our group through the summer despite the fact the church takes a break from having it during the summer. Our discussion is always helpful in getting the sermon to sink in further and allows for questions to be asked. So I pushed for the group to continue. As we continued to meet and after some time, the pastor asked me to lead the group into the fall. My own mind went soaring into circles. I'm not the most qualified! I'm not the one people would have chosen! Ironically, the sermon that weekend ended with the quote "God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called." There's something poetic and beautiful when God has your questions and insecurities already answered. He knew exactly how I was going to feel after asked about Bible Ed and He had planted the answer to my fear already. It might of been the shortest panic episode I've ever encountered. It was like an instant reassurance from God, "Breathe, calm... I've got this and I will be here with you  through this."

From time to time I think about how people must think it is the dumbest decision to have me of all people put in a lead position in that group. I'm aware of how it must seem like the most irrational decision. The facts are clear that it seems completely bizarre. I'm not the oldest in the group.  I'm one of the newest in coming back to Christ. I'm not the most knowledgeable.  But it's when those thoughts enter my mind that I choose to look at God and He restores my confidence in His plan.  So I'm going to just relax and simply say, "Where you go God, I will follow."

Temptations

Prayer

Image Created By Emily Gibson

Immeasurable Power

Prayer has been on my mind a lot lately.  This last Sunday was filled with answers to my prayers.  I haven't felt that alive in a long time. It topped every "high" I've ever felt my entire life. One thing I've always struggled with was prayer.  So often the power of it would be interrupted by my own awkward thoughts of how stupid I felt for "talking to myself."  I say stupid because Sunday was just proof that God pays attention to each of those prayers.  I also can't help but think that I'm also maturing in what I pray for.  I'm that much farther from being the little girl praying for God to give me a pony (even though God could do that if He wanted to lol).  But as I've learned, looking back we'll see that sometimes the prayers we thought weren't answered, weren't because God wasn't paying attention, but because we were praying for things out of God's character and will. As I so often forget, along with maturing in your relationship with God, your prayers will also mature.  There's no irony in 1 Thessalonians 5:17,

Pray without ceasing.


A verse of very few words with a very clear and powerful message. God meant it because if we were honest with ourselves, we know that prayer is always the answer.  There's no point where it isn't appropriate.  In times of joy, sadness, anger, fear, relief... We're armed with the most powerful weapon ever and it's one that no one can take from us.  As I once heard it put, "People may refuse our love or reject our message, but they are defenseless against our prayers." Luckily that even applies for ourselves. So despite the current situation, no matter how you feel at the moment, prayer is your best defense. It's the simple act of surrendering it to our amazing God. 


Image Created By Emily Gibson

Bloom Where You Are Planted

I've read the saying "Bloom where you are planted" many times. Today when I read it, the thought popped in my head, God is everywhere, absolutely everywhere. He wants us to find joy in our circumstances.  So no matter where you are or what you're going through... Bloom. Seek His face and become the beautiful flower He wants you to become no matter where you are planted.

Image Created By Emily Gibson

To All The Precious Women Reading This

To all the precious women reading this: You are God's most beautiful and treasured creation.  Your beauty is timeless, and despite how you feel at this moment in time, He is delighted in your beauty. Every part of His creation is a purposeful and intricate brushstroke to His masterpiece. His immense love for you is far bigger than you could ever imagine and will never change.


Image Created By Emily Gibson

By a Master Craftsman

Image Created By Emily Gibson

Obsession

There's a true beauty in being led by the Holy Spirit. Here's how it starts out with me, I sit down to write about what I think my blog should be about, a few lines into it, God transforms it into something completely different than I ever imagined. As I was writing today and thinking about how excited I've been feeling about the journey God has me on, my writing quickly took a turn and was purely and simply God giving me a reminder that I needed.

There are days that I feel I've wasted the time I've been given thus far and then I'm reminded of the great story of redemption that has been written with my life. No doubt there are still times I fail, but Christ reminds me that those failures are more chapters of God's unending grace. I've been handed a story that can't be denied because I know every piece. I have a daily reminder of the darkness I have been lifted out of by the sacrifice of a loving God and along with that also a inconceivable testimony. He took the life of a lost, hurt little girl who thought if she was tough enough she could make it and made new a woman that is covered by the blood, grace and love so big it's unimaginable.  As David Crowder Band's song Obsession puts it, "I'm so filthy with my sin." but to think of how pure and clean we are, covered in His blood, is unfathomable.

Unimaginable Joy

Image Created by Emily Gibson

Madly in Love

This week has been just a mess. Trying to come up with a topic to write about and stick with it without letting my mind wander to something completely different has been very challenging.  I’ve hit this point where I just have so much to say but if I really talked about everything that has been on my mind, people would probably think I was a bit crazy. Not to mention that trying to organize all these thoughts and put them into words without being completely sporadic is a mind boggling task all on its own.

I have this odd energy about me that seems to be ready to burst out any minute.   So usually when I feel this way I try to fill my time as a way to soak up this energy and possibly get something constructive done in the process.  I started walking, a book study, working extra days, cleaning like a crazy lady… But then I started thinking about it. What’s missing? What am I leaving out?

God.

In all this craziness I forgot my foundation. Somehow I lost touch with the most important thing in my life, my relationship with my Creator.

In a world where we’re programmed to stay busy and being able to list a series of tasks we’ve accomplished is defined as success, it’s easy to forget to put that time aside to just breathe.  Sit for a moment and just spend time with Someone who has so much love for you that it’s incomprehensible.  It’s no surprise that I have been feeling down lately and having a hard time feeling worthy of much.  When we don’t take the time to let God write us love letters or simply throw them to the side for “later”, our minds become filled with the world’s lies. Self-worth is impossible to find in a world of hate and shame. So it’s essential to take the time to just sit in the presence of the One who created us and sacrificed His life for our downfalls.  I’m not sure that love like that can really be put into words.  But I do know that any amount of time spent with God quickly drowns out the deceptive hate spewed by society.  I know I have worth and no one will tell me differently because I am the daughter of a King. And He’s madly in love with me.

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Romans 5:8

Image Created By Emily Gibson

My Savior

Image Created By Emily Gibson

Preventing Forest Fires

Satan’s best weapon against me is solitude and isolation.  My head fills up with thoughts that I am the only one going through certain stumbling blocks.  Although realistically I’m aware that others around me are struggling with similar problems.  For example, there are times that I wonder if I’m the only one who over analyzes the things people say.  I tend to pick apart every bit of criticism and then I dwell on it as I match it with my own view on myself.  I constantly worry that I am blind to my own faults and that others can see so much more than I can myself.  The tiniest remarks can cause me to doubt myself and destroy my self-confidence.  Reminds me of the song “Forest Fire” by Josh Wilson,

Our tongues are like matches
Our ears are like trees
Our words are like sparks
On dry summer leaves
It doesn't take much
For the flames to rise
And turn a soul
Into a forest fire

Quite simply, we are all guilty of being very careless with our words.  The amount of time it takes to say a simple phrase is nothing compared to the amount of time it can end up replaying in someone's mind.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 
Ephesians 4:29

There's emphasis on the power of our words and the fact they are capable of building up others and we're told to do so. There are many scriptures informing us to be careful with our words and how important it is to tame the tongue.  James 1:26 evens warns that anyone who thinks they are religious and doesn't bridle their tongue is deceiving their own heart. It even goes as far as saying that their religion is worthless.
We are capable of doing a lot with our tongues.  It's one of those things that we can use for good or bad.

Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God. And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right! 
James 3:9-10

God didn't create our tongue to do evil or to make cutting remarks to the people around us.  There are many amazing and glorious things we can do with it to honor our Creator.  The power of the words we speak to others makes all the difference. But most important, we are called to speak good and pure things.  As I went through the different scriptures and seeing the multiple times that we are instructed to speak words that are encouraging, you have to realize the importance behind something mentioned so often in so many different books of the Bible. So in a world where we are taught to speak our minds, and aren’t necessarily taught to think things through before we say them. We aren’t told to be like the world.  People should see a difference in us simply by hearing our words and the way we speak.

Truly Devoted or Standing on the Sidelines?

Something that seems to be popping up in my life lately are people who seem to think that God is something we can bend and mold to fit our lives. A quote by Francis Chan comes to mind,

"He wants all or nothing. The thought of a person calling himself a 'Christian' without being a devoted follower of Christ is absurd."

The sacrifice that Jesus gave for our sins was death. The idea that we don't want to change our lives to glorify Him seems so narcissistic. We can't obtain salvation through our own acts, and personally I can't imagine anything that would bring more joy than living to exalt our personal Savior.

Jesus talks about the cost of being a disciple in Luke 14:25-35. One of the verses that spoke to me was Luke 14:27,

"And if you do not carry your own cross and follow me, you cannot be my disciple."

Christ doesn't call us to just stand on the sidelines and cheer Him on.  He asks us to pick up our own cross and follow.

Ephesians 3:17

Image Created by Emily Gibson

Kissing Frogs

Relationships are mind consuming.  Every girl has dreams of being swept off their feet by Prince Charming and being taken away to a magical castle.  Alright, maybe not every girl, but I definitely did. Then you get thrown into the real world and you suddenly realize that it's not so clear who "Prince Charming" really is.  Suddenly you are introduced to a world of frogs and told that you have to kiss them all and hope that one magically transforms before your eyes. Luckily, that's not how God works. Some of us have kissed frogs, blinded by our own eagerness to find the love we desire, and others have stood on the side lines out of fear.  Each girl a little different but all with the same dream built up in our heads.



We can continue to kiss frogs... but, unfortunately, it will only lead to ending up with a frog. Taking a dream that we have built up over time and handing it to God can be very difficult.  But remember the promises He has made.  He never fails us. So considering He is all-knowing, powerful, and holy, what makes you think He can't handle finding someone for you to marry?


Casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.
1 Peter 5:7

Having Him by our side should be a weight lifted off your shoulders. He wants what is best for us and He will never leave you disappointed.  He can see the bigger picture of our lives and we can't see it.  So while you see frogs, He can see your Prince Charming and He is helping him grow and become the man that you need. He's also preparing you for that day. He's refining you and perfecting each detail, like a work of art, and wants to present you as the beautiful Princess that He has created you to be. As hard as it may be, surrender your dreams of Prince Charming to our wonderful Creator and you will never be disappointed.  The best news yet, I can guarantee He will never require you to kiss any frogs!


Photo: http://www.meloniesteffes.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/Kissing_Frogs.jpg

James 1:2-4

I realize my last blog was quite a while ago.  I'd really like to continue to share my story with everyone. God has been moving at neck break speed in my life.  It seems like I'm continually learning lesson after lesson.  Since my last post, I moved to the city that I started going to church.  It has been a journey that I would describe as fearfully wonderful.  Fearful, in a sense, because of the changes that I have had to adjust to. Wonderful because of the amazing way He has worked in my life.  I'm not going to sugar coat it, there has been some really dark times in that adjustment.  Although I know that I have the Lord by my side, there are still times that I feel alone.  There have been different circumstances that have made me feel like all I do is fail considerably.  I started thinking that I wasn't going to ever be able to make it through a day without dealing with these trials. I felt like I was at my limit and didn't know what I could do that would make me feel like I was on the right path.  Then during my break, at work, I was reading the Bible and this is what God gave me:


Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.
James 1:2-4


I suddenly realized, my endurance was still developing!  It's something that we need to work on each and everyday.  And on top of that, God wants us to find joy in our trials, knowing that our faith is being tested.  
So I'm ready for the test God.  I only want to turn to you!

Hebrews 12:29

Image created by: Emily Gibson

Psalm 6:9

Image created by: Emily Gibson

Psalm 45:11

"Let the king be enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord."

Psalm 45:11

True Inspiration and Beauty

It's funny how God can change your view on life.  It changes your view of the people around you.  I used to think I knew what beauty was.  I used to be able to see the beauty of most people, physical beauty that is.  Suddenly God has shown me a beauty that shines from the heart.  The picture above is of two inspiring ladies: Beckah Shae and Corrie ten Boom.  These women have been through tough times and have come out with hearts that shine true inspiration.

Beckah Shae is a singer that glorifies God with her beautiful voice.  Her journey wasn't easy and involved as stated in her "About" of her website, "A self-proclaimed "conformist," during her unstable teenage years were a barrage of raves, Tijuana and Vegas, fake I.D.s, experimental drugs and eating disorders leading to depression, anxiety and low self-esteem."  One of my favorite quotes to think about it that she said, "The enemy had me confused.  I was considered the 'good' one in the bad environments I found myself in, so I really didn't realize how lost I was, or who I was."  She now is a singer working on her fifth album and is known for her support of the A21 Campaign and Kids Alive International.  Her heart and amazing faith radiates from her when she speaks and sings.

Corrie ten Boom and her family's home was a refuge for hiding fugitives and those hunted by the Nazis. She risked her life and at the same time showing the heart that God gave her.  She has a very inspiring book called "The Hiding Place."  It is well worth checking out if you haven't done so already.  I can't begin to explain in a short amount of writing the true inspiration she is.

I encourage you to look further into these women's stories. They are great examples of God's love shining on earth.

Beckah Shae: http://www.beckahshae.com/about/
Corrie ten Boom: http://www.corrietenboom.com/history.htm

Mark 5:34

I know the verse and I know the promise that God is giving me. But so often I'm too busy feeling undeserving of it to actually enjoy it. The confusion and hurt doesn't seem to lessen after reading these words. Right now, they feel more like salt on a wound. They are just a reminder of the pain.  Before I was perfectly capable of hiding it somewhere I could forget about it.  Every time I think I've gotten past it all, I'm reminded that I've simply just gotten good at ignoring it, but I haven't actually let myself heal.  I want that peace. I want to stop feeling insecure because of it.  So all I can do right now is pray and wait for that day that God will ease the pain in my heart.

Beckah Shae

This video is an interview with a girl named Beckah Shae.  I have used her videos before, and talked about her song "Hephzibah."  This video shows her personal feelings and has her talk about her relationship with God.  She has an inspirational faith and I personally look to her as a role model.  I can only hope and pray that I grow a strong faith like her... "To carry the likeness of God."

I also needed to hear her words about compromising and hiding instead of taking a stand.  People will tear you down and eat you alive.  So true... But as she points out in the end, it's about knowing God and He knows you.  Those people don't matter.

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10


If you'd like to hear more about Beckah and her music, I put a link to her website! God Bless! Hope she inspires you the way she did me :)


http://www.beckahshae.com/

God Provides

God provides.  Two simple words that seem like an obvious statement, but yet why is it when life gets difficult we often forget them.  I was going through my finances the other day and looking at my pile of debt I've accumulated while in school.  With 5 months until graduation, the pressure is on to get everything paid off so I can move after school.  At one point my shoulders just kind of dropped and I felt like I was in a hopeless situation when I had to charge a hospital bill to my only emergency credit card that wasn't maxed out.  The longer I looked at the situation the longer I realized I had no hope of making that much money in that short amount of time.  I started running through scenarios in my head; ones of me stuck working at my factory job past graduation and then student loans coming in and then my debt pile just getting deeper... I was deeply discouraged.  When suddenly I realized, God provides.

In you, Lord my God, I put my trust
Psalm 25:1

God's plan for me was so much bigger than my debt.  If he wanted me to move by graduation he will make it possible. I often think to go to God with emotional problems, health problems, or relationship problems.  But it doesn't cross my mind to go to him about money as often.  So instead of getting discouraged I'm going to get on my knees in prayer.  I didn't work this hard in school for God to leave me in a factory. I know God has bigger plans for me, so why not trust him to provide the resources to get to them?

And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus 
Philippians 4:19

Hephzibah

One of my favorite songs is "Hephzibah" by Beckah Shae.  When I first heard it I didn't know what Hephzibah meant.  In Isaiah 62:3-5 you find out the meaning behind all of it.

No longer will they call you Deserted, or name your land Desolate.  But you will be called Hephzibah, and your land Beulah; for the Lord will take delight in you, and your land will be married. 
Isaiah 62:4


Therefore, Hephzibah means "my delight is in her."  Beulah means "married."  As God promises us in Isaiah 62:5

As a young man marries a young woman, so will your Builder marry you; as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you. 

God doesn't care about my rocky past.  I've done things that I regret with my entire being.  Despite the fact that I feel like I'm not worthy God promises me that he will as a man marries a woman, he will rejoice over me.  My favorite lines of the song put it the best, "Till you came and took my shame, And dressed me up in your Glory, What magnificent exchange, You've adorned me with Your name, Your beauty for my sin."

Thank you Lord for Your beauty for my sin.  Thank you for Your forgiveness.

First

Today I went to church for the first time in about 5 years.  The pastor, Rob, talked about the 5 things God needs to come first in: your relationships, finances, decisions, schedule, and home.  There were so many things that I never thought about.  Although I grew up going to church and was raised in a Christian family, I think that I underestimated how much I have to learn.  Rob took the time to address how "single ladies" need to remember to put God first before that "studly" guy.  He also talked about how men need to be the leaders in the family.  I've heard/learned that before but I thought it was nice to hear again.  He also talked about how the Lord has someone picked out already to be with you.  He also talked about how there is something amazing in a God loving man.  Isn't that the truth?!  I found a pin on Pinterest today that said, "Choose a guy that chooses God over you."  Far from the way that society teaches girls to find a guy that chooses them over everything and put them on a pedestal.  God has someone special picked out for me and that man will be a God loving man.

SMILE!

"Now everyday ain't gonna be perfect, but it still don't mean today don't have a purpose." -Kirk Franklin in "I Smile"

Everyone needs something to uplift them and as someone who struggles with getting worked up over stupid little things in life, this song was just what I needed. For instance, a couple days ago, my furnace broke. Luckily, I have two space heaters.  Then the temps dropped and the windchill was unbelievably cold those days it was broken.  Today I woke up and it still wasn't fixed.  I immediately let it ruin my mood and could feel myself getting snippy because of it.  Then it dawned on me, I was letting my day be ruined by something as mediocre as a furnace breaking.  I went on YouTube and started listening to the song "I Smile" by Kirk Franklin.  The song instantly put a smile on my face.  There was one line in particular that stuck out to me, "Now everyday ain't gonna be perfect, but it still don't mean today don't have a purpose." I needed that reminder.  Although everyday isn't perfect, it's still a day that can teach me something. It is a stepping stone toward the person I want to become.  So today when you feel your smile turning upside down from something petty, just remember that God is amazing. There is so much to be thankful for so... SMILE!!

Optimism

Regardless Optimism... I figure I should explain why I chose this as the name for my blog.  For starters, I originally planned on calling it Eternal Optimistic.  This is something I've used to describe myself in the past.  Then recently I was talking to one of my best friends and she said to me, "You know what drives me crazy about you?"  Skeptical, I looked at her, and accepting the challenge I asked, "What's that?"  She replied with, "You're always so damn optimistic."  I couldn't help but laugh.  I suppose if I'm going to annoy someone, I hope that it is always with my ridiculous optimism.  In the end, I chose Regardless Optimism because I have always been optimistic regardless of the thousands of reasons the world has given me to give up on being optimistic.

Not a Museum, A Hospital

I wanted my first blog to be perfect; but since my scattered thoughts make it basically impossible to find one specific topic to base my first blog on, I'm going to just wing it. This is what my thoughts are about right now, at this particular moment.  I saw this video the other week.  It's been controversial but also in other ways has spoken to many people, myself included.  For so long I have run from "religion" but have forgotten that in doing so, I have also ran from Jesus.  I ran from churches acting like they were the plague.  Although it's sad to think that churches will always have those people in them that are hypocrites and hateful, there are so many that are good and loving.  As Jefferson put it, "It's not a museum for good people, it's a hospital for the broken." So this week I'm going back to church for the first time in so many years I can't even remember.  It's time to stop the facade I've built of a strong woman and go to Jesus as what I am, a broken little girl.  I'm going to a church I found in a town about 40 miles away.  I decided on one out of town to avoid the hypocrisy of the churches I've been to in the past and to avoid the pettiness of small town gossip.  I want to go there to learn and focus on God.  Who knows, maybe I'll even make a few friends to help me on my journey.