Hephzibah

One of my favorite songs is "Hephzibah" by Beckah Shae.  When I first heard it I didn't know what Hephzibah meant.  In Isaiah 62:3-5 you find out the meaning behind all of it.

No longer will they call you Deserted, or name your land Desolate.  But you will be called Hephzibah, and your land Beulah; for the Lord will take delight in you, and your land will be married. 
Isaiah 62:4


Therefore, Hephzibah means "my delight is in her."  Beulah means "married."  As God promises us in Isaiah 62:5

As a young man marries a young woman, so will your Builder marry you; as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you. 

God doesn't care about my rocky past.  I've done things that I regret with my entire being.  Despite the fact that I feel like I'm not worthy God promises me that he will as a man marries a woman, he will rejoice over me.  My favorite lines of the song put it the best, "Till you came and took my shame, And dressed me up in your Glory, What magnificent exchange, You've adorned me with Your name, Your beauty for my sin."

Thank you Lord for Your beauty for my sin.  Thank you for Your forgiveness.

First

Today I went to church for the first time in about 5 years.  The pastor, Rob, talked about the 5 things God needs to come first in: your relationships, finances, decisions, schedule, and home.  There were so many things that I never thought about.  Although I grew up going to church and was raised in a Christian family, I think that I underestimated how much I have to learn.  Rob took the time to address how "single ladies" need to remember to put God first before that "studly" guy.  He also talked about how men need to be the leaders in the family.  I've heard/learned that before but I thought it was nice to hear again.  He also talked about how the Lord has someone picked out already to be with you.  He also talked about how there is something amazing in a God loving man.  Isn't that the truth?!  I found a pin on Pinterest today that said, "Choose a guy that chooses God over you."  Far from the way that society teaches girls to find a guy that chooses them over everything and put them on a pedestal.  God has someone special picked out for me and that man will be a God loving man.

SMILE!

"Now everyday ain't gonna be perfect, but it still don't mean today don't have a purpose." -Kirk Franklin in "I Smile"

Everyone needs something to uplift them and as someone who struggles with getting worked up over stupid little things in life, this song was just what I needed. For instance, a couple days ago, my furnace broke. Luckily, I have two space heaters.  Then the temps dropped and the windchill was unbelievably cold those days it was broken.  Today I woke up and it still wasn't fixed.  I immediately let it ruin my mood and could feel myself getting snippy because of it.  Then it dawned on me, I was letting my day be ruined by something as mediocre as a furnace breaking.  I went on YouTube and started listening to the song "I Smile" by Kirk Franklin.  The song instantly put a smile on my face.  There was one line in particular that stuck out to me, "Now everyday ain't gonna be perfect, but it still don't mean today don't have a purpose." I needed that reminder.  Although everyday isn't perfect, it's still a day that can teach me something. It is a stepping stone toward the person I want to become.  So today when you feel your smile turning upside down from something petty, just remember that God is amazing. There is so much to be thankful for so... SMILE!!

Optimism

Regardless Optimism... I figure I should explain why I chose this as the name for my blog.  For starters, I originally planned on calling it Eternal Optimistic.  This is something I've used to describe myself in the past.  Then recently I was talking to one of my best friends and she said to me, "You know what drives me crazy about you?"  Skeptical, I looked at her, and accepting the challenge I asked, "What's that?"  She replied with, "You're always so damn optimistic."  I couldn't help but laugh.  I suppose if I'm going to annoy someone, I hope that it is always with my ridiculous optimism.  In the end, I chose Regardless Optimism because I have always been optimistic regardless of the thousands of reasons the world has given me to give up on being optimistic.

Not a Museum, A Hospital

I wanted my first blog to be perfect; but since my scattered thoughts make it basically impossible to find one specific topic to base my first blog on, I'm going to just wing it. This is what my thoughts are about right now, at this particular moment.  I saw this video the other week.  It's been controversial but also in other ways has spoken to many people, myself included.  For so long I have run from "religion" but have forgotten that in doing so, I have also ran from Jesus.  I ran from churches acting like they were the plague.  Although it's sad to think that churches will always have those people in them that are hypocrites and hateful, there are so many that are good and loving.  As Jefferson put it, "It's not a museum for good people, it's a hospital for the broken." So this week I'm going back to church for the first time in so many years I can't even remember.  It's time to stop the facade I've built of a strong woman and go to Jesus as what I am, a broken little girl.  I'm going to a church I found in a town about 40 miles away.  I decided on one out of town to avoid the hypocrisy of the churches I've been to in the past and to avoid the pettiness of small town gossip.  I want to go there to learn and focus on God.  Who knows, maybe I'll even make a few friends to help me on my journey.